she looked like the bat from fern gully.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
