You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
