Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
