im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
