tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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