I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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