she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
