so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think I sprained my soul last night
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
