32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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