Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
