I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
