Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
