did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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