Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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