She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We were destined to go to rehab together
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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