i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
