He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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