I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize