I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
