bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
