Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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