The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
