I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize