Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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