I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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