do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sorry my hands just texted you
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize