Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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