The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
