Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
