Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
