i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
