she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
