Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
