I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
