Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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