i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize