haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
