Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
