He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
