i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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