Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Send help, water and tortillas.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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