the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
