just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
