it was like his penis was on wheels.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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