i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
