so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
