i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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