Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
