Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
