My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
