i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
