hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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