so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
