you traded sex for a burrito?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
