I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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