I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
