conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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