You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize